Too Much:
1. Homework. I am supposed to have a first draft (not a ROUGH draft, a FIRST draft) of my senior seminar paper done by Tuesday at 4:05 PM. That's 16-20 pages, not including the APA style title page and references. I am also supposed to finish Dreaming in Cuban by tomorrow at 2:15 PM.
2. Appointments. Tomorrow, IACUC is coming to inspect the barn, so while my 9:15 AM class was canceled, Rocky still needs to be fed before 8 AM. For once though, I don't have to attend their inspection. This feels fundamentally wrong; I have been there for every other one except during my newbie Freshman year; I was there for the first time we successfully PASSED the inspection. Moving on, I am showing a potential UMMer the barn at 11:45 tomorrow. Luckily, because of the inspection, the barn will be beautiful. Which means that I have to sweep the loft tonight- I didn't realize that was my job this week until this morning. >.< Saturday we (Justin and I) drive to Duluth, and that night, we look at our new apartment. We sign the papers to what will hopefully be a great place to live. Monday morning, I have an interview with Woodland Hills, and I am praying fervently that I get that job.
3. Pain. Not physical, but emotional, and in different ways. It's hard to think about leaving Morris and my life here behind. There are two main things that make it harder than the rest. The first, simply, is taking care of Rocky myself everyday, and being able to see his grumpy face in the morning. I guess we're both crabby in the mornings, especially when we're hungry :). The second is that I will really miss Argie and Lisa. They have been amazing, I love them, and I cannot imagine going back up to Duluth where I cannot stop in to see Argie and vent, or have her vent to me, or see Lisa's crooked smile when I go to take care of her. Hearing Lisa's ever so random, yet charming stories, theories, decisions, jokes....being able to literally be there for both of them, having them be there for me. They are a surrogate family for me, their wisdom and love make me whole. I want to tell them this before I leave but the words...I do not want it to feel or be goodbye, we WILL keep in contact, but. I want somehow to tell them how much they have meant to me.
A different pain is learning about Lisa's trauma. I cannot imagine those things connected to this beautiful person, and if I try, I only want to cry. My heart bleeds for her past, and is amazed at her future. A stronger person I have not met.
Not Enough:
1. Money. My truck has one completely flat tire and one mostly flat tire. I don't know if I need two new tires or one new tire or no new tires but two patches or one patch and one new tire or how to do any of it. The veterinarian is coming out on Tuesday, and Rocky's vaccinations will be about $100; if he needs his teeth done, that would be another $100; and I want X-Rays done of his front feet to determine for sure whether or not he has Palmar's heel or if it's just his off centered frogs that made him lame last summer. That, I just found out, would be another $100, $50/view. Then there's rent for our Morris apartment, electricity, rent for the months of May and June at our Duluth apartment, gas money, groceries... I don't know if I will have enough. I do not know anything else to do but keep working when I can, pay what I have to, and pray it will be enough.
2. Time. All of these appointments and dates and scheduling stuff...and I have spent the last half an hour writing this, needing to get it out, when I should be reading articles, underlining important lines, and writing my introductory paragraphs of my senior seminar paper.
How's it gonna be?
