Ok, so it was one week yesterday.
Today, it's six days.
I had my first real bout of nerves yesterday, as I had my final dress fitting with the shoes after getting the dress altered. I was so, SO afraid that somehow the dress would be ruined and I would have to either pay tons to have someone fix it or find another dress that would work. Thankfully, the dress is not ruined and is almost perfect. There is no longer a ripple across my boobs, which was my biggest concern, so I think it was worth the money I spent with the tailor. The dress will sit perfectly but I will need to check it and tug the bottom of the bodice to make sure it lies flat; the tailor kept telling me that "the longer I wear it, the better it will fit."
Right.
So I am supposed to wear my dress for a while before the wedding. My pristine, white wedding dress can easily be worn...what, while baking? Watch movies in it? Is she KIDDING ME?! The second time she told me that I had to hold myself back from screaming at her. Generally I think I've done a good job of not being a Bridezilla, but this lady came close to making me snap. There is no way I am sitting around wearing my dress before the wedding. The number of things that could go wrong with this scenario makes me cringe just thinking about it. I have a dog and two cats, and even if they were locked away, their hair would still be present. What if I tripped and fell? I am definitely not a graceful person. Or got sweaty and had sweat-stains? Or thirsty or hungry or Justin comes home and sees me or it gets all wrinkled from me sitting- or am I supposed to stand around for several hours?
I know there are more things I could think of and I am probably being a little too dramatic, but this is... my wedding day. The bride is the main focus of the entire event; of course the groom matters, too, but who does EVERYONE want to see? The bride. I tried explaining this to someone yesterday, and I don't think he got it.
As a general rule, women are much more judgmental when it comes to how the bride looks. There is the inevitable comparison between what they wore/want to wear and the bride's choices. Additionally, how does the bride look in her chosen outfit? If you can't tell, I am feeling just a little nervous about the scrutiny. This is supposed to be the day when the bride looks her absolute best in every way.
It does make me feel better to think back on the other weddings I have attended, to see if I remember what others looked like. I am left with general impressions, but all of them amount to that the bride was happy and beautiful in her own way.
I have also started a list of things I need to get done before the wedding, or things I need to remember.
-Stickers on boxes (these are sunflower stickers on the boxes to hold candy at the reception as party favors)
-I need to find a pretty table or an adequate table with a table cloth for the wedding to hold the roses for those who cannot be at the ceremony (grandparents)
-Get a cake cutter and server (the implements, not the person)
-Pick up the marriage license after Wednesday
-Decide on ceremony music
-Choose a father/daughter dance song
-Choose and buy bridal party gifts
-Find/choose something old to wear for the wedding... I have blue and borrowed in my shoes (they are my soon to be sister-in-law's wedding shoes, and new in my wedding dress)
-Buy static guard
-Be at JCPenney's at 10:15 on Saturday to start getting everything done... manicure, pedicure, and hairstyle. I debated the mani and pedi but then I thought... heck, it's supposed to be the fanciest day of my life. I should get the full treatment.
-Let Molly and Michelle know the rehearsal times (DJ's wife/my boss and the photographer, respectively)
-Ask Molly to help with chair setup at the ceremony site, making sure the chair rental company sets them up correctly
There is probably more but I hope not. Oh, and then there's the planning for our honeymoon...
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
Choices
Lately, I have been wondering about my career choices and what I am truly passionate about. Today, while reading "Life of Pi", I realized that the care of both animals and children matters a great deal to me. However, I think that animals would be at the top of my list, and before someone starts a whole animal versus human debate, I would like to explain myself.
Does it matter how children are raised? Absolutely. When I consider having children of my own someday, I'll admit to being afraid of being a poor parent; not for any particular reason, but because it is a huge responsibility which I take seriously. At work, I see the results of not just poor parenting, but neglectful, abusive- really, an abhorrent lack of parenting. It's sickening. I do my best to remind myself that these adolescents I work with are generally the product of having no one to care about them and growing up in an environment that fosters their negative behaviors rather than teaching them appropriate ways to live in society. It is easy to become passionately angry with their parents and society, and again I remind myself that the parents likely come from situations that are the same or worse as the clients I see, but perhaps they didn't get the chance to go to a treatment facility, to receive help.
Where is the accountable party, then? If these cycles of abuse and neglect aren't stopped... whose fault is that? I realize that this need to blame someone or something for problems is normal, but it feels...I need someone to blame or I feel powerless. If I can identify that so-and-so fucked up, then the lines are drawn and there is a clear 'enemy,' someone to work against or to help. It's not that simple, however.
I believe that everyone should be held responsible for who they are and the choices they make once they are an adult. I have to believe that everyone has a chance to better themselves. It may be a tiny window of opportunity, it might be incredibly hard to see it or to follow that shred of hope, but it has to be there. If someone doesn't want to continue the cycle of bad choices and have a healthy life, there are options. It's the age of technology and there are so many organizations out there to help. Heck, step into the library and, if you don't know how to use the computer, ask the librarian for help. Look up parenting classes, housing assistance, there are even agencies to help with job placement including career planning, resume writing, interviewing skills, etc.
And that's why I am more passionate about animals. People usually get the chance to grow up, get help, and better themselves. They can attend therapy, and if they so choose, move to a completely foreign place and get a fresh start. People have the ability to choose. Animals do not.
Animals are stuck with who picked them up and has decided to keep them. I just made kissy sounds at one of my cats, and he ran across the room to me, sat down, and started purring. I didn't even have to touch him.
Animals are wonderful creatures, and can teach us humans so much if we are only willing to learn. How many people do you know would be happy to run across the room to you and sit next to you? No conversation, no touching, just sit there and be happy? Hopefully more than I can think of. I think a true friend is someone you can sit next to in silence without feeling the void.
Someone whose dog, cat, rabbit, what-have-you- someone whose animal loves them is a good person. Or can be a good person given the right circumstances.
Does it matter how children are raised? Absolutely. When I consider having children of my own someday, I'll admit to being afraid of being a poor parent; not for any particular reason, but because it is a huge responsibility which I take seriously. At work, I see the results of not just poor parenting, but neglectful, abusive- really, an abhorrent lack of parenting. It's sickening. I do my best to remind myself that these adolescents I work with are generally the product of having no one to care about them and growing up in an environment that fosters their negative behaviors rather than teaching them appropriate ways to live in society. It is easy to become passionately angry with their parents and society, and again I remind myself that the parents likely come from situations that are the same or worse as the clients I see, but perhaps they didn't get the chance to go to a treatment facility, to receive help.
Where is the accountable party, then? If these cycles of abuse and neglect aren't stopped... whose fault is that? I realize that this need to blame someone or something for problems is normal, but it feels...I need someone to blame or I feel powerless. If I can identify that so-and-so fucked up, then the lines are drawn and there is a clear 'enemy,' someone to work against or to help. It's not that simple, however.
I believe that everyone should be held responsible for who they are and the choices they make once they are an adult. I have to believe that everyone has a chance to better themselves. It may be a tiny window of opportunity, it might be incredibly hard to see it or to follow that shred of hope, but it has to be there. If someone doesn't want to continue the cycle of bad choices and have a healthy life, there are options. It's the age of technology and there are so many organizations out there to help. Heck, step into the library and, if you don't know how to use the computer, ask the librarian for help. Look up parenting classes, housing assistance, there are even agencies to help with job placement including career planning, resume writing, interviewing skills, etc.
And that's why I am more passionate about animals. People usually get the chance to grow up, get help, and better themselves. They can attend therapy, and if they so choose, move to a completely foreign place and get a fresh start. People have the ability to choose. Animals do not.
Animals are stuck with who picked them up and has decided to keep them. I just made kissy sounds at one of my cats, and he ran across the room to me, sat down, and started purring. I didn't even have to touch him.
Animals are wonderful creatures, and can teach us humans so much if we are only willing to learn. How many people do you know would be happy to run across the room to you and sit next to you? No conversation, no touching, just sit there and be happy? Hopefully more than I can think of. I think a true friend is someone you can sit next to in silence without feeling the void.
Someone whose dog, cat, rabbit, what-have-you- someone whose animal loves them is a good person. Or can be a good person given the right circumstances.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Regime
Okay, so two posts in one day is a lot for me. But I wanted to post this today to try to keep myself honest.
Today I worked out to Jillian Michaels, and it was hard. HARD. I think I liked it, and want to do it every day, at least until my wedding. That's my first goal. After that, it would behoove me to continue working out- obviously- but I'm trying to set smaller, more reachable goals for myself.
Yet, even as I make it, a part of me is already making excuses that I can't.
Indeed, this week I have also resolved that I should be spending at least 3 days in a row per week with my horse.
These two ideas don't have to compete with each other, and yet they do seriously impede my... well, okay, sleeping in and watching TV. Two activities that I very much enjoy, as lazy and somehow embarrassing as it sounds to admit. I enjoy being lazy and relaxing.
If I go overboard, I don't think I will be able to maintain the schedule. I think, for now, I will figure out the best 3 days in a row per week to visit Rocky. He should be my first priority as he is under my care. The other 4 days per week I will devote to spending 20 minutes getting my butt kicked into shape by Jillian.
And now that it's on the internet, I might even do it.
Today I worked out to Jillian Michaels, and it was hard. HARD. I think I liked it, and want to do it every day, at least until my wedding. That's my first goal. After that, it would behoove me to continue working out- obviously- but I'm trying to set smaller, more reachable goals for myself.
Yet, even as I make it, a part of me is already making excuses that I can't.
Indeed, this week I have also resolved that I should be spending at least 3 days in a row per week with my horse.
These two ideas don't have to compete with each other, and yet they do seriously impede my... well, okay, sleeping in and watching TV. Two activities that I very much enjoy, as lazy and somehow embarrassing as it sounds to admit. I enjoy being lazy and relaxing.
If I go overboard, I don't think I will be able to maintain the schedule. I think, for now, I will figure out the best 3 days in a row per week to visit Rocky. He should be my first priority as he is under my care. The other 4 days per week I will devote to spending 20 minutes getting my butt kicked into shape by Jillian.
And now that it's on the internet, I might even do it.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Weekend!
This last weekend was super fun. Apart from an injured hip and butt cheek (I fell off my horse... or, rather, was dislodged from my horse's back in a manner that was not planned by me), I had a great time.
A friend of mine, who has been living in South Korea for the last year, has returned to America! On Saturday, we met her at the Mall of America (very American) to see each other and shop. I have missed her greatly, and it was wonderful to see and speak with her again in person. After that, we met up with another friend of ours at our hotel, and then proceeded to carpool to the State Fair!
The State Fair was great, we went to the Miracle of Birth Center and saw tiny, newborn goats, cows, pigs, and sheep. I wanted a goat. And a pig. Perhaps a cow...yeah. Talk about your barn of adorable! So then we went to the Warner Coliseum to watch the "Western Horse Show" which was scheduled from 6 pm to midnight, or something crazy like that. We didn't stay for the whole thing, and it started late (because, let's face it, horse people are NEVER on time). The first competition was...odd. And not very safe.
You started out with your horse in a horse trailer with its halter on, while you and your partner had your saddle, saddle blanket, and bridle up at the front of the truck pulling your trailer. The goal is to take your horse out of the trailer, get all of its gear on, gallop around the arena 3 times, take all of the gear off and load your horse back into the trailer in the fastest time. I felt a little bad for the horses, who were being hauled out of trailers by their tails, their girths were pulled tight very quickly while bits were shoved into their mouths, and then they were off and running. It was exciting but not exactly...sane. Or horse-friendly.
Anyway.
I got a new pair of Ariat boots. A part of me questions the wisdom of the particular pair that I bought (or rather, my parents bought as an early Christmas present). They are quite a unique pair~ shiny black patent leather, with turquoise and white stitching on the top part of the boot. My attempts at adding a photo here have so far failed, but the point is that they are hardly the type of boots I would normally wear around the barn. They are... shiny. Fancy looking. And I adore them. They look like a men's dress shoe-cowboy boot hybrid in feminine form.
...
After the State Fair, we went to the Renaissance Festival. I unfortunately left my outfit at home, but had a wonderful time anyway. I got two little grotesques; the shop called them gargoyles, but technically they aren't. Real gargoyles are water spouts, but I digress. They adorable little grotesques, they are the size of a large shot glass. One is based on a bull, but has 4 horns, a lionesque mane, and little bat wings. The other is a sortof monkey-puppy mix, with one little horn on top of his head, little bat wings, a fringe of mane, and pointy ears.
The best thing I got all weekend, though, was time spent with my fiance' and one of my best friends.
A friend of mine, who has been living in South Korea for the last year, has returned to America! On Saturday, we met her at the Mall of America (very American) to see each other and shop. I have missed her greatly, and it was wonderful to see and speak with her again in person. After that, we met up with another friend of ours at our hotel, and then proceeded to carpool to the State Fair!
The State Fair was great, we went to the Miracle of Birth Center and saw tiny, newborn goats, cows, pigs, and sheep. I wanted a goat. And a pig. Perhaps a cow...yeah. Talk about your barn of adorable! So then we went to the Warner Coliseum to watch the "Western Horse Show" which was scheduled from 6 pm to midnight, or something crazy like that. We didn't stay for the whole thing, and it started late (because, let's face it, horse people are NEVER on time). The first competition was...odd. And not very safe.
You started out with your horse in a horse trailer with its halter on, while you and your partner had your saddle, saddle blanket, and bridle up at the front of the truck pulling your trailer. The goal is to take your horse out of the trailer, get all of its gear on, gallop around the arena 3 times, take all of the gear off and load your horse back into the trailer in the fastest time. I felt a little bad for the horses, who were being hauled out of trailers by their tails, their girths were pulled tight very quickly while bits were shoved into their mouths, and then they were off and running. It was exciting but not exactly...sane. Or horse-friendly.
Anyway.
I got a new pair of Ariat boots. A part of me questions the wisdom of the particular pair that I bought (or rather, my parents bought as an early Christmas present). They are quite a unique pair~ shiny black patent leather, with turquoise and white stitching on the top part of the boot. My attempts at adding a photo here have so far failed, but the point is that they are hardly the type of boots I would normally wear around the barn. They are... shiny. Fancy looking. And I adore them. They look like a men's dress shoe-cowboy boot hybrid in feminine form.
...
After the State Fair, we went to the Renaissance Festival. I unfortunately left my outfit at home, but had a wonderful time anyway. I got two little grotesques; the shop called them gargoyles, but technically they aren't. Real gargoyles are water spouts, but I digress. They adorable little grotesques, they are the size of a large shot glass. One is based on a bull, but has 4 horns, a lionesque mane, and little bat wings. The other is a sortof monkey-puppy mix, with one little horn on top of his head, little bat wings, a fringe of mane, and pointy ears.
The best thing I got all weekend, though, was time spent with my fiance' and one of my best friends.
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