The Fear Place, part 2

Before I continue my story from The Fear Place, I wanted to throw out a quick update to Ella. Yesterday, I finally heard back from her owner, who said that he is happy to have me work with her!  I am really excited to do this, and will definitely be posting our progress.  Unfortunately, I work a lot in the next week and so will not get a chance to start working with her until next week.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled blog entry.

The fear had taken over my mom.  Tapper had stopped when he reached Rocky and I, but a part of her knew that she should redo the hill.  The panicked part tugged quickly back on Tapper's reins, and he obligingly backed under a pine tree.  Snow tumbled down around my mom, and she had to hunch forward under the branches.  Her eyes were wide and I could tell that her mind had fractured with fear, not processing the situation clearly.

I suggested that she dismount and do some ground work, joking about "surviving the experience."  Her terse reply of "No shit!" told me where her head was, and it wasn't ready to ride.  She got off, and proceeded to lunge Tapper going up and down the hill.  Her cues were a little off, and she would tug him toward her at the bottom of the hill.  He obediently would turn and face her, but she hadn't meant to tug on him.  She would briskly send him off again, and he was starting to get agitated from all of the mixed signals.

I asked if she meant to pull him in, and she said no.  She stopped doing it then, now that she realized what was going on.  I told her to change his direction more frequently, which helps him to relax and gives her more to think about in terms of cuing properly rather than just letting Tapper trot around her.  Within a few turns, Tapper's eyes were quiet and calm.  He was doing what she asked without issue, but my mom hadn't completely left The Fear Place yet.

I pointed out that he was behaving himself and seemed over "his" issue.   She slowed herself down, and was able to agree with me.   I told her that instead of riding straight down the hill, which seems to make her more fearful, I suggested riding circles on it.  She ended up going down the hill to the side of the main trail where the slope wasn't as steep.  She rode up behind me, stopped and looked at me.

I told her to go do it again.

She let out a reluctant breath but she knew I was right.  She went down the hill twice more, each time becoming more confident as Tapper didn't put a foot wrong.   Finally her smile was back in place, and she was able to laugh about the experience.  I reminded her that she needs to work on just going up and down that hill until it gets boring for her. She said I was right, and that she would plan a time to do it one of the next times she went to the barn.

Working through fear isn't easy, and I'm not sure if it's something that ever completely leaves you.  With horses, nothing is ever guaranteed other than the fact that they can be unpredictable.  I love them anyway.

 

Sorry for the poor quality of this image, but it was the only one I could find of it! It's from Bonnie Timmons' book, "Hold Your Horses."  I recommend every horse aficionado own a copy. 

Screaming

Sometimes, I don't "like" things on Facebook that have already been "liked" a lot, because I feel as though my "like" is no longer special.

I am currently sitting perched on the edge of my office chair so that Bennett can stay sleeping behind me without interruption.  Fox has decided to join us on the chair, and is curled up on the back.  Okay, he just slid down behind me to cuddle with Bennett. I think they're licking each other behind my back.

I work today.  I started coughing a minute ago, and felt like I was going to throw up.  Just a bit anxious...

I work the next 6 days in a row, and I am really needing to concentrate on one day at a time.  Heck, right now, one is overwhelming. I hate this feeling so much.

Last night, my uncle shipped out to Afghanistan for two months. I feel really selfish being this anxious and worried about my job, when he is risking his life over in another country.  He has four beautiful children and a loving wife here.  Seeing him off wasn't as heart wrenching as I thought it would be, at least at first.  We made the kind of desperately casual small talk one makes in these situations, talking about fishing, the weather, and such. He showed us where he works, walked us around the building and told us what everything does.  He has a sign in his office that says "DO NOT DISCUSS SECRETS ON THE TELEPHONE." It reminded me of some sort of elite club where girls whisper behind their hands and then giggle when anyone walks by.

The worst part about him leaving was watching mothers pulling their wailing children out of the building where everyone was gathered to say good bye.  Kids don't have that "we are in public so don't make a scene" sensor.  They screamed like the rest of us wanted to.