Life Update

It has been an eternity since I wrote last. Much has happened! I like lists, so I'll make one!
1. We have a new cat! His name is Fox, and he's an orange striped tabby we adopted from an animal shelter. He is boisterous and loves attention when he is not busy playing or wrestling with Bennett, who by the way, loves him. She was mad at me for a while for getting him but I think she's getting over it. Fox and I have the same birthday, according to his records from the shelter.
2. I have a wedding dress! And tiara, necklace, and earrings! Plus, I got my ears pierced, which wasn't nearly as painful as I had dreaded it to be.
3. Most days I love my job. Today we ate candy and watched Zombieland to celebrate Halloween. Every day isn't like that, but the point is, there are some days when I get paid to watch movies and have fun with teenage girls. Plus, there's the whole "helping change someone's life for the better" bit that always feels good, and making important connections to the students. It's never boring!
4. I love where I board Rocky. They take excellent care of him, are very kind, and I don't have to worry about him. My mom might be buying one of their horses, which would be AWESOME!
5. We are going to look at trying to buy a house. I'm incredibly excited and a bit nervous about it, but I am praying we can find a house in our budget that we like, in a good neighborhood, and that we can move into around March or April...
6. ...for several reasons. One, our lease is up in April where we are now and the neighbors are crazies. They have woken us up yelling and have started smoking again, which in summer blows right in the windows. Gross. Two, I really, REALLY want to get a dog, and our landlords won't let us have one. Three, Captain is breeding in January and the puppies should be ready to go around May. My birthday month. Coincidence? I think not.


Life today is good.

Not to Worry

It's crazy to think that, for the next indeterminate amount of time, life will continue on largely as it is. I will go to my job four days a week, work for 8 hours and then- the rest of that time is mine. 32 hours a week are accounted for, 34 with team meeting. That leaves me 5 days and 16 hours of freedom a week with no homework, nothing else scheduled that I have to attend.
It's wonderful. I sleep in every morning I can, cuddled next to my fiance with my cat curled over my leg. This morning I woke up with her perched on my shoulder, one paw outstretched to knead my pillow. I woke up because one of her claws poked my upper lip as she attempted to touch the pillow. She purred with her eyes closed and a smile on her face when I opened my eyes to see what had jabbed my face. It's hard to be irritated with such content- especially when she's so happy just to be with you.
I miss some of my Morris friends though, and being able to see them every week or randomly throughout the day. I don't have many friends up here- just one that I would see regularly if possible. The other doesn't seem to care that I exist, and never initiates conversation. I am anxious about running into her and it being awkward- we'll see.
I also miss taking care of Rocky every day, just as I had anticipated. Still, I love going to see him. He remembers me and is happy to see me; yesterday he waited for me at the gate to his pasture with his ears perked up. He's an absolute sweetheart and his neck is silky soft right now. I hope he is doing well in the rain and that Randi took his fly mask off- it's stuff like that that makes me itch to take care of him myself. Is she doing everything the way that I would? Maybe not the same way I would, but I trust he is well taken care of and remind myself not to worry.

Lists

Four days ago, someone said, "Congratulations!" to me. Feeling a little embarrassed but quietly excited as well, I felt the need to ask, "For what?"

This was not me just trying to be humble; the truth is, there are so many very exciting things going on in my life at this moment, I wasn't sure to which event the person was referring. I didn't want to brag, but I was curious about which awesome part of my life they had discovered. Right now, I have/will:
1. Gotten engaged to the love of my life.
2. A job at an amazing place in my field of study, that will pay me competitively, give me benefits, and offer superb career training and potential for advancement.
3. Graduate from college in 5 days.
4. It's my birthday in 7 days.
5. I am moving back to my hometown to a new apartment with my fiance and our wonderful cat in 6 days.

To graduate from college, I have three things left to do:
1. Finish my senior seminar paper, which entails editing the portion I have to incorporate the feedback given on it, and adding 10 pages of good work to it by Wednesday at 4 pm.
2. Take my Child Development final exam tomorrow at 4 pm.
3. Take my Cognition final exam on Thursday at 11 am.

Other things I need to do this week:
1. Tomorrow, travel to Alexandria to get my engagement ring sized.
2. Pick up my engagement ring after it has been sized, sometime this week.
3. Go to the in town post office to give them our forwarding address.
4. Call our electric company to tell them when to stop billing us, and ask about forwarding us the positive balance in our account.
5. Clean the house- thoroughly.
6. Pack everything up.
7. Go to the grocery store to ask for boxes.
8. Fill both front tires on my truck with air; hopefully it will stop raining soon so I can do that without getting drenched.
9. Close my bank account down here and get all of my tiny bit of money out.
10. Say goodbye to people I love whom I won't see again for a long time.

All in all, it's been a damn good month.

Too Much and Not Enough

Too Much:
1. Homework. I am supposed to have a first draft (not a ROUGH draft, a FIRST draft) of my senior seminar paper done by Tuesday at 4:05 PM. That's 16-20 pages, not including the APA style title page and references. I am also supposed to finish Dreaming in Cuban by tomorrow at 2:15 PM.
2. Appointments. Tomorrow, IACUC is coming to inspect the barn, so while my 9:15 AM class was canceled, Rocky still needs to be fed before 8 AM. For once though, I don't have to attend their inspection. This feels fundamentally wrong; I have been there for every other one except during my newbie Freshman year; I was there for the first time we successfully PASSED the inspection. Moving on, I am showing a potential UMMer the barn at 11:45 tomorrow. Luckily, because of the inspection, the barn will be beautiful. Which means that I have to sweep the loft tonight- I didn't realize that was my job this week until this morning. >.< Saturday we (Justin and I) drive to Duluth, and that night, we look at our new apartment. We sign the papers to what will hopefully be a great place to live. Monday morning, I have an interview with Woodland Hills, and I am praying fervently that I get that job.
3. Pain. Not physical, but emotional, and in different ways. It's hard to think about leaving Morris and my life here behind. There are two main things that make it harder than the rest. The first, simply, is taking care of Rocky myself everyday, and being able to see his grumpy face in the morning. I guess we're both crabby in the mornings, especially when we're hungry :). The second is that I will really miss Argie and Lisa. They have been amazing, I love them, and I cannot imagine going back up to Duluth where I cannot stop in to see Argie and vent, or have her vent to me, or see Lisa's crooked smile when I go to take care of her. Hearing Lisa's ever so random, yet charming stories, theories, decisions, jokes....being able to literally be there for both of them, having them be there for me. They are a surrogate family for me, their wisdom and love make me whole. I want to tell them this before I leave but the words...I do not want it to feel or be goodbye, we WILL keep in contact, but. I want somehow to tell them how much they have meant to me.
A different pain is learning about Lisa's trauma. I cannot imagine those things connected to this beautiful person, and if I try, I only want to cry. My heart bleeds for her past, and is amazed at her future. A stronger person I have not met.

Not Enough:
1. Money. My truck has one completely flat tire and one mostly flat tire. I don't know if I need two new tires or one new tire or no new tires but two patches or one patch and one new tire or how to do any of it. The veterinarian is coming out on Tuesday, and Rocky's vaccinations will be about $100; if he needs his teeth done, that would be another $100; and I want X-Rays done of his front feet to determine for sure whether or not he has Palmar's heel or if it's just his off centered frogs that made him lame last summer. That, I just found out, would be another $100, $50/view. Then there's rent for our Morris apartment, electricity, rent for the months of May and June at our Duluth apartment, gas money, groceries... I don't know if I will have enough. I do not know anything else to do but keep working when I can, pay what I have to, and pray it will be enough.
2. Time. All of these appointments and dates and scheduling stuff...and I have spent the last half an hour writing this, needing to get it out, when I should be reading articles, underlining important lines, and writing my introductory paragraphs of my senior seminar paper.

How's it gonna be?

I Hate My Neighbors

I hate my neighbors.

The laundry list of shit they have done:
1. Have a party on a Tuesday night during finals week that started at midnight and went until 5 am. I know this because the party goers woke me up coming in, throughout the party, and for the hour or so they jabbered on their way out the door. I could smell the reek of pot smoke, cigarettes and alcohol from my room, as well as hear one of the party goers exclaim, "Yeah dude, he totally dropped it on the front porch!"
2. 2-3 times a week, getting home really late at night and waking me up, stomping shoes and talking.
3. One of them stole my cat. She took Bennett overnight without telling me or my boyfriend. I accidentally left the door to the laundry room we share with them open, and I assume Bennett wandered in while I was gone. I returned and she had disappeared, but one of them had come and gone in the meantime. We (my boyfriend and I) searched for her for hours, sobbed in each others' arms before trying to sleep, and got up through the night to call for her. We thought she had gotten outside somehow and was now lost, scared, and alone. The next day we got up with swollen eyes and made Lost Cat posters, put them up around town. I was sitting at my computer around 3pm the next day when I heard a scratch coming from our laundry room door. I opened it and Bennett trotted into our house with an indignant meow. I had searched that small room many times, checked it for nonexistent escape routes, and we both went through it countless times to call for her out our back door. She always comes when she is called. The only thing that makes sense is that our neighbor came into the laundry room, took our cat, and then returned her the next day. Without telling us.
4. They do laundry all the time, which makes it difficult for us to get a load in. Today we put one in, came back, and it was sitting, wet, on top of the dryer. There was nothing in the washer, just a tiny load of white towels sitting fluffed in the dryer. I am currently tempted to take them outside and stomp them into the lake of mud that is our parking pad.

Okay, so I don't hate both of my neighbors. Mostly the one who stole my cat.

Hungry for Summer

Today I finished the outline for my senior seminar paper.

My goal is to write about Equine Assisted Psychotherapy (EAP) and how it may be effective with Spanish-English bilingual clients. I wish I spoke Spanish- that's on my to-do list for someday. I took French in high school instead of Spanish for a few reasons.
1. Almost everyone else was taking Spanish
2. My last name is French, and I have French-Canadian heritage somewhere in my mixed pedigree.
Plus, French is gorgeous- like wiping your ass with silk, I believe a villain in one of the Matrix movies says. Anyway.

I finished my outline, and I am sincerely hoping it passes my Professor's inspection. Someone who was in one of her past senior seminars told me that she made them completely redo their paper. Completely redo a 25 page paper. I think I would have an aneurysm. Although, considering the way Prof P organizes her seminar, I would think that the person really had not utilized any of the resources offered. Still, a part of me panics to think it could happen to me, who procrastinates as a rule.

It has been raining for three or four days now. Which has been good in that I have not wanted to go outside and so have worked on my outline more than I may have otherwise, but I am ready for it to stop now. I am hungry for summer.

I want the jade grass in a thick blanket, the hot sun cooled by a light breeze, the sky shock blue with clots of white. I want to saddle up my horse and go for a run, or meander down a trail. Go swimming. Reeeelax. I really want to be done with school. I am not an academic; I enjoy learning most of the time but I hate essays. This I feel is ironic, considering I used to be an English major. I think that was a misguided attempt to do what I thought I was best at, reading trashy novels and writing (but never finishing) crappy stories. I found out I could still do those things but without the awful British Literature and constipating drones of essays. I also discovered how much I enjoy poking around in people's minds. My English major dropped to a minor because I was so close to finishing it anyway, and I decided to pursue the minds of the world.

I became a Psychology and Liberal Arts for the Human Services major, a horribly long title that confuses everyone. They should've just stuck with Human Services, something people can understand and that doesn't come out in a headlong rush.

I am still hungry for summer, but my horse is hungry for his dinner. He's going to be cranky since he's been standing in the rain all day long... I will rub his neck and tell him he's a good boy more than usual tonight.